Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Fitness is more than looking good? WHAT?!

No takers on THE ASYLUM, huh...that's okay, perhaps another time. I, however, could not take the anticipation any longer so I started this week. Day 1 proved to be a serious wake up call. That's right Lyenna, you are not as fit as you think you are. Here's your piece of humble pie. ARRRGH!!! First up was the fit test. I didn't do too bad, but I didn't do as well as the super athletes on the video, are they even human...seriously? And Shaun T I didn't know it was possible for you to be even more ripped. How in the world...? I suppose that means we're all a work in progress. I then thought, I have a little left maybe I can do the first video Speed & Agility. LOL...I don't know where my athleticism went, but I think I left it back in highschool 10 years ago. The warm-up is enough to have me crying TIME-OUT...WHAT IS THIS?! I have work to do people and it's not going to be pretty.

We all have a starting point. It's the place with the giant wall that says, "Ya Right, there is no way you can get through me, you're not good enough, strong enough, pretty enough, smart enough, you don't have enough money, time, energy, etc., etc."

There is a battle of the inner voices. One voice is soft, firm, and assuring. It is the voice we resonate with the most. When we connect we know it to our very core, and we have a vision of our potential and who we are. We know when this voice speaks, it is the truth. We feel light and happy. We know we can do anything and that our progress will come through time and effort. The journey is challenging, but what we receive in return is joy, and accomplishment.

The second voice throws a tantrum like a 2-year-old child, demanding attention NOW and will not relent...ever! When this voice speaks and we listen, we feel small and weak. This voice is much louder, but is also a deceiver. EVERYTHING it tells us is a LIE! When we listen to this voice our heart aches with pain and sorrow. It smothers us with ugliness, and self-loathing. It's only purpose is to bring us so low that we feel we have nothing to give or offer to this world. It knows if we believe those lies we won't share our gifts, and talents with anyone else.

What if I told you we can choose? Did you know that the voice you listen to the most is the voice you give power? One of the fastest ways to free ourselves from listening to the ugliness is through sharing with others. This video is an example of that. Why do we feel so good after watching things like that? I'll let you answer that question for yourself and then let you figure out how it applies:)

So what does this have to do with fitness? Fitness starts with a belief. That belief then turns to action. That action increases our belief in ourselves. That belief in ourselves then projects to others.

Fitness and nutrition feeds our physical body in more ways then "looking" good. When we work hard for something we are blessed with confidence and accomplishment. Feeling good about who we are then allows us to give. I'm not talking about monetary things, although that's good too, I'm talking about giving our joy and love to someone else. We, as a society, do a lot of walking around in our own little world. We barely talk to our neighbors. What if instead, we got up in the morning, did something for ourselves (like a workout and a nutritious breakfast;) and then we got to work on sharing our new found love for ourselves with someone else. Hello beautiful person I don't know, you look like you have your hands full, let me help you with that! Did you know that giving love actually increases our capacity to love?! We don't lose anything we actually gain! That is pretty exciting.

So which voice will you pay more attention to, and what sacrifices are you willing to make? True joy comes from effort, not smooth sailing and being idle. Why?! Because doing something challenging and getting through it feels AMAZING! If it were easy than what would be the point? Where is your starting point? It may not be THE ASYLUM, but does it matter? Whatever it is, go get it, and then bask in the joy of having done it:)

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Facing Myself in the Mirror

I have felt like a failure lately. Just this morning I started out with a decent breakfast (egg whites, with soy sausage, on a whole wheat english muffin) but then just went crazy. I don't know what happened or even what I was feeling. I ate the rest of the brownies from the night before, 2 bowls of fruit loops, a bowl of raisin bran, and half a banana. I'm mortified to admit my weakness. It's hard to describe where it stems from, but I think I figured it out. I've been doing INSANITY and I'm on the last 2 weeks. It has been so hard, which seems so understated. My legs are completely dead by the end and I just don't have anything left to give. There have been times during the program where I've told myself it's too hard and I just don't have what it takes today, so I end early. It's happened only twice, but I feel like a failure. I am disappointed in my weakness, and for quitting. Of all things I chose to quit and give up!

I now have in my possession INSANITY: THE ASYLUM, the newest program from Beachbody. Where INSANITY is a 60 day program, this one is only 30 days. I'm intimidated and scared... REALLY scared. I fear seeing what's deep inside. I might have to see the REAL reflection of myself, the one that is hidden away, and I'm afraid if anyone really saw who I was I might not be accepted or loved. I am terrified of that. And ever since it arrived in the mail I have been eating poorly. I've been making choices with food that I don't usually make...and acting strange. I've given up before I've even tried. How could an exercise program make me feel that way?!

I realize I have a lot of fear and these programs make me face them. I push my body physically to the point that I have to "Dig Deeper" (one of Shaun T's favorite lines) mentally, and even emotionally. They're the kind of programs that make me stare into the mirror until I make the small, weak, fearful Lyenna come out and face the powerful, strong Lyenna. I'm afraid of being disappointed, or showing my weaknesses. And the powerful part of me brings out that fear more than anything else. I'm afraid of not having what it takes to succeed, that I won't succeed, and I fear that disappointment. I know THE ASYLUM will have me digging deeper into my heart than I ever have, and I'm afraid of what I'll see.

It's interesting, to me, the beliefs I have about myself. Sometimes I feel so small, and insignificant. I feel I am the victim of circumstance rather than the creator of it. I know the latter to be true, but I believe the first more often. Food sometimes becomes my outlet because it's something I can control, but then claim I can't. It's so easy to blame someone or something else.

I have a lot of dreams, ambitions, and goals. I'm not sure I can tackle all of them, at least not all at once, but I keep putting one foot in front of the other. I am learning, and now that I have pinpointed what my deal has been lately I can move forward. I am taking on THE ASYLUM as soon as I finish with INSANITY. That gives me 2 weeks, plus a recovery week, and then I get to see what I'm really made of. What if I actually do succeed, and instead of disappointment there is joy? That would be worth every ounce of sweat, and every bit of hard work I put into it. If you want to do this with me let me know. You can get THE ASYLUM here. And if you already have it then our start date will be Monday, May 9. Are you in?

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Nutrition and the The Oprah Magazine. I have never purchased this magazine before, but there was an article featuring Darin Olien, and 6 super foods that happened to be in Shakeology. Which just happens to be a shake I have every day because it's a nutrition power house. Needless to say I was enlightened by all our Earth has to offer. Hippocrates said "Let food by thy medicine, and medicine be thy food." I always wondered how that was possible with all the over-processed, over-salted, overly sugared foods we have surrounding us...EVERYWHERE! And we wonder why we have cravings. Read this article and you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about. It's the May 2011 issue.

So about nutrition...
Exercise I'm great at. I can push myself to the brink, sweat buckets, run, jump, and still play with my kids at the park. In fact I'm taking on INSANITY: THE ASYLUM as soon as I'm done with INSANITY. But food is rough. I love the sweet things, and salty things, and not-good-for-you things. Unlike Darin Olien, bless that man, I don't eat all natural, unprocessed, non-antibiotic, etc. I have 4 kids, a small salary, and let's face it, our American society makes garbage cheap, and healthy expensive...what's that about...seriously. We could delve into conspiracy, but I'd rather not. I do my best however, and throughout this blog I will share the things I eat, and how I get my kids to eat what I eat:) I try to get as many fruits and veggies in as possible. I cut out as much saturated fat as possible, and make the carbs I eat the good kind...but not always. I have triggers, A LOT, of triggers...namely stress induced by children kind. I can't read about food because it has me looking in the pantry, or fridge. Those marketers on magazines, and TV are good...and they know it.

I considered putting a before and after photo of myself on this blog. You know the typical sports bra, bare tummy, and a pair of swim bottoms, or shorts, but then I decided not to. You'll see photos of me, but I'll be fully clothed. It's not that I think those photos are bad, it's actually because I discovered something about them and about myself. I am extremely hard on myself. I am the first to criticize my weaknesses, and short comings. I pick apart my body, 4 kids has deflated my breasts, unless I'm nursing, and created a spider web of stretch marks all over my stomach. But that's not even the reason why I decided not to show it off this time...I say this time because I've shown before and afters before. This blog, however, is going to be different because when I see someone's before and after, someone who, in my mind, has a perfect body that they've worked so hard for and ABSOLUTELY deserve, I start to feel bad about my own accomplishments (trigger). I feel like I'm a failure because I work really hard, but I don't see myself having accomplished such a feat. I know it sounds crazy, but if there happens to be anyone out there like me than this blog is for you:) Besides I have very white, pasty skin, and so I never wear a two-piece anyway so I figure no one will ever see that much of me besides my husband.

So join me as I fall, succeed, fall, succeed, etc., etc. This is My Fitness Life. What will yours be?