Okay, so I have figured out that getting my feelings OUT helps with sabotage. When I'm frustrated, or negative in any way it reflects on all aspects of my life, including food. Most of the time I don't realize what's got me down until I start talking it out, writing it down, or expressing it in some form. After I pin point it, suddenly I realize where I've been and then I am able to refocus. This is great news for after the fact, but how do I recognize it during? I want to be able to end it before it takes over my entire day, or even my entire week. I suppose when I feel low or negative I need to pause and reflect. It's much easier said than done, just for the mere fact that instant gratification, that food offers, can be hard to overcome, not impossible, but hard.
Just last night my husband compared it to baseball. We are both athletes so these kind of analogies work for me. We were discussing goals, and I told him I have this picture of what my goal looks like and how I plan on reaching it. When my actions, or the results don't fit into the picture I get frustrated and feel like a failure. I told him we have to have a layout of our goals, otherwise, how do they get accomplished? His response was, Lyen, in a baseball game the ultimate goal in the end is to win. You have every intention of hitting the ball when you're up to bat, but sometimes you strike out. He explained that when he played Division 1 baseball, in the finals, he went 0 for 3. At his 4th at bat he told himself a lot of people go 0 for 3, but am I going to let my previous record affect this moment, this opportunity to hit? He ended up making the game winning hit that scored 2 runs in the bottom of the 9th inning. Obviously he did not let what happened in the past affect that moment.
A light bulb went on for me, as it usually does when I get to the bottom of the crazy train...lol. He told me that we only have each moment, right now. The past doesn't matter, and neither does the future. Have your goals, that's great, but realize the journey to get there will probably never look like your picture. He said he never thought to himself "I want to win, but I think I'll strike out 3 times, and then hit my 4th time to win the game...lol" He definitely has a point.
I've experienced this often enough to know that life RARELY looks like the picture I have in
my head. Writing and talking it out though, really helps put things in perspective. Those negative thoughts that creep up usually have a lot to do with the way my picture is unfolding, oh NOOOO I must be doing something terribly wrong...HA! Seriously folks it seems so silly looking back, as it usually does. I gotta keep telling myself, one step at a time, just be in the moment, and let it unfold as it will.
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