Thursday, May 19, 2011
I won't go into the boring details of how I did every day, but I will say it opened a whole can of worms. I was looking to cleanse my body, get rid of the tired, sluggish, junk filled everything and start fresh. What ended up happening was I started the cleansing of my negative self-talk and sabotage.
I have made several discoveries which is why I love that fitness, and nutrition are a lifestyle change not a quick fix. My lifestyle has done a complete 180 degrees. I truly believe that health comes in the mind as well as the body, and the biggest obstacle to overcome is what we tell ourselves every day. We become so accustomed to the negative voice in our head that we actually start to believe it's true. We believe that we have to talk to ourselves that way because it's the only way we can stay motivated. THAT IS THE BIGGEST LIE OF ALL!!!
I am a member of the Beachbody Club, and I visit the message boards regularly, with questions, and to pick the brains of the experts. More about that in a minute. During the cleanse I went on one of my sugar binges. Believe me when I tell you I gave myself the biggest thrashing of my life when I was finished. I told myself things I would never tell my worst enemy. I felt so low, depressed, and cried...hard. I went to the mirror and gave myself a long hard look, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't believe, me, who preaches healthy eating, and regular exercise, who does it for my job, could not control myself...AGAIN! That's when I decided to go to the message boards. I know it was not by accident that I found Tina Anderson who started a thread that has literally changed my world. I read her intro, and immediately related to everything she said. She gave me some suggestions, some tools she used, and long story short, I am a changed woman...literally!
I now know that my binges were an escape for me. There was something I have been trying to hide from that was deep inside. I didn't even know what it was, but she helped me figure it out. It has been a rough road, but EXTREMELY rewarding.
I wanted to let all of you know that becoming healthy is never a journey that needs to be taken alone. We are sometimes handed gifts that we can either accept or reject, but it's a gift non-the-less. Tina gave me a great gift, and I am so grateful I accepted. I could not have come this far without her, and her support. We didn't even know each other, but she shared herself, her success, and the tools she used to get there.
I want to pay it forward. A book I highly recommend is Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth. If anything I've said has any relevance in your life, start there. I feel so light, and happy, and grateful.